America will this week unveil a warship made using steel salvaged from the Twin Towers that collapsed on 9/11, in an attempt to usurp previous attempts to physically define irony.

The USS New York was constructed using a massive structural beam that was rescued from the carnage of the World Trade Center. The decision to incorporate the wreckage into the ships architecture was taken to commemorate the death of 9/11 victims by completely logically creating a machine designed to cause similar destruction.

The new warship is currently on its maiden voyage to New York, and while the vessel is not currently engaged in combat the crew are said to be “itching to kill some people to honour those people who died.”

The building of the ship has been hailed as a great success at physically defining irony, and is said to have usurped other attempts, such as when Germany built a freedom-spreading ray powered by the human dust of Auschwitz

Howard Lutnick, whose offices were in the World Trade Centre said without even a hint of irony, even after we raised our eyebrows really, really high, “”I really like the idea of people going out and avenging what happened to us and protecting us so that it should never happen again, because the pain that we went through, we want no one, no other family to have to go through it, unless they live in a different country.”

On the side of the vessel reads a dedication to the events of 9/11; ‘Out of death and destruction comes hope, an eternal light, human spirit, and more importantly an American-built destroyer that has the capacity to turn the home of those god damn A-Rabs into a one-storey car park.’

Observers have noted how the irony of the ship’s origin would be heightened if a plane was to crash into it, and even more so if someone managed to crash the ship into a skyscraper.