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Obama Gears Up for Health Care Reformapalooza 2010(0)
Sleeping All the Time Makes You Less Tired, Reveals Science(0)
Curling Team Claim Intra-Team Infidelity Will Not Affect Olympic Chances(0)
Britain Ten Times Worse Than You Think, Say Tories(0)
Dutch Courts Rule McDonald’s Cheese ‘Worthless’(0)
Big Brother to Physically Manifest Viewer Experience(0)
BA to Attempt to Halt Christmas in Court(0)
Correction: Swine Flu No Longer Considered Threat to Survival Of Human Race(0)
Public to Be Given Power to Stop Cycling Cyclers(0)
Child Worse Christmas Present Than Coal Say Parents(0)
Americans Attempt to Physically Define Irony Through Construction of Naval Assault Ship from 9/11 Wreckage(0)
BNP Expected to Talk Loudly, Throw Patio Furniture on Question Time(0)
Google Behind Royal Mail Strike(0)
Daily Mail: Stephen Gately Died From Being In Boy-zone(0)
Beckham Qualifies for World Cup Despite Playing for England(0)
Britons Say Goodbye to Source of Light in the Sky(0)
‘Hip and Cool’ Craze of Vigilantism Sweeping the Nation(0)
England Fans Reveal Internet Ignorance(0)
‘Jinxed’ to be Replaced by ‘Mowened’ In English Dictionary(0)
Britain’s Dear Leader, The Sun, Decides on Leadership Change(0)
Under-Fives to Be Sent to Jail As a ‘Warning’(0)
Dinner Lady Claims Elitist Conspiracy Behind Sacking(0)
PM To Fix Economy By Selling Illegal Immigrants(0)
Islam Mass-Producing Children in Battery Farms Claims Completely Sane African Priest(0)
Susan Boyle Shaves Eyebrows, Wows America(0)
Lily Allen Demands Control of the Internet(0)
Doctors Advise Ban on Advertising to Protect Easily Swayed, Drunk Population(0)
Roman Abramovich to Have Fifa’s Legs Broken(0)
Harry Redknapp Suspected of Perverting the Course of Football(0)
Channel 4 ‘Saddened’ That Big Brother May End Without Single Live Death(0)
World Sentenced to Five More Years of Chris Brown(0)
English Use Bat and Ball To Re-Establish Colonial Power(0)
Patients Warned to Avoid ‘Fat, Disease-Riddled Doctors’(0)
Monkeys Could Probably Teach A-Levels Too, Survey Reveals(0)
Unemployed Turn To Piracy As Recession Drives Surge in Sea Crimes(0)
Inmates Looking Forward to Making Chris Brown’s Acquaintance(0)
Avian Flu ‘Furious’ After Being One-Upped By Swine Flu(1)
MOD Insist Reducing Injured Soldiers Payments Will “Help Them Die With Honour”(2)
Alex Ferguson Furious At Arrogant Teams That Dare to Compete With Him(0)
Chris Brown Apologises for Musical Assault(0)
Northern Thieves Targeting “Weak in the Pussy” Premiership Youth Players(0)
Human Plinth Statues ‘Thrilled’ To be Stared At For An Hour(0)
Michael Owen Wins Alex Ferguson’s Old Trafford Golden Ticket(0)
Freddie Shepherd Offers £60 Million to Financially Piss On Mike Ashley(0)
Met Office Warns British to Stay Inside as Sun Approaches(0)
Police Chase Good Times, Moonlight, Sunshine, Boogie in Jackson Case(1)
Beckham Looks On Like a Proud Father as ‘His’ USA Blossom Into Champions(0)
Equality and Human Rights Commission Investigates ‘Suspiciously Discriminatory’ Membership Policy(1)
Vitamin D “the New Crack” Amongst British Youth(7)
Employers Jump On InternSHIT Bandwagon As Unemployed Get Desperate(0)
Iranians to Smash-Up Country Until There is ‘Nothing Left to Rule’(0)
Britain to Fight Recession By Cutting Down on “Unnecessary Education of Idiots”(0)
Manchester United Sign Agreement to Become Feeder Club To Real Madrid(1)
Somali Pirates Capture EU Seat(0)
BNP to Rid Britain of Scourge of Family Run Newsagents(13)
Jacqui Smith Ends Tenure to Take Time Out for ‘Porno Sundays’(0)
Child “Too Clever” For Mother(0)
US Government to Own Every American Car By the End of the Week(0)
Tory MP To Repay ‘Slave Costs’(0)
Burnley To Bring Patio-Furniture Related Violence to Premier League(3)
North Korea Prepped and Ready To Kill Us All(0)
Newcastle Still Biggest Club in the World Claim Fans(1)
Chlamydia Epidemic Amongst Under-16s ‘Worse than Swine Flu’(1)
Beckham Urged to Scruff Hair At Launch of World Cup Bid(0)
Co-Incidental Report Suggests Working Forever to Stave Off Going Mental(0)
Rafael Benitez Refuses to Concede Title As Manchester United Lift Trophy(0)
Russian Authorities Says Yes to Camp Exhibition, but No to Gay Demonstration(0)
Onslaght of Capitalism Flattens Slumdog Film Set(0)
Footballers to Heed Wise Words of Gascoigne(0)
Ferrari Throw Their Toys Out of Their 250MPH Cockpit(1)
Ledley King Damages Knee on Man’s Face(0)
Swine Flu Claims Soar After A-Level Cancelled At Infected Schools(1)
Everything’s Fine Explain Trustworthy Mexicans(0)
Obama ‘Excited’ About American Sovereignty(0)
We’re NOT All Going to Die(0)
Frank Lampard Tells Radio Presenter He Doesn’t Hate his Kids(0)
Apple Pulls ‘Jade Goody Cancer’ Game(0)
US Threatens Sanctions on Well Groomed Beards in Iran(1)
Sweden Jails Men for Providing Free Porn. World Despairs(1)
Met to Review ‘Hippie Bashing’ Protocol(0)
Terrifying Woman, Old, Has Great Voice(1)
Bouncers to Be Used to Belittle School Children(0)
Children’s Teeth Reflect the Decay of Modern Society(0)
Tories Change Party Line: Children Should Not be Trusted(0)
Tony Blair Tells Pope: You’re Wrong About Domino Pushing(0)
Somalian’s Hijack Disney Image of Pirates(2)
France and Germany in Cahoots To Destroy World(0)
US Carmakers Terrified of Change Balk at Cost Cutting Demands(1)
Iran Confused by Obama’s Olive Branch: Uses it to Self-Flagellate(0)
Google Finally Able to Launch UK Streetview After Winter Darkness Lifts(0)
Pope Tell’s Africa That Condoms Take Away All the Feeling(0)
Rihanna hoping to turn out ‘just like Whitney’(1)
Bernanke does the smart thing and lies to everyone(0)
Obama to “fuck them China Ninjas up”(0)
Danger planes to enliven the experience of flying(0)
Pedestrians to Be Forced to Sprint Through Gauntlet of Vin Diesel Wannabes(0)
350,000 Clamour to See Baby-Waving Lunatic(0)
Bank of England says ‘fuck it’ and wheels out printing presses(0)
Facebook melts your childs brain – Makes them refer to themselves in third person(3)
Worldwide Collapse Imminent as GMail Shuts Down(2)
Abu Qatada Funds Own Terrorism Using Ingenious Financial Looping(0)
Fondling and Fraud: Why You Should Never Let a Greasy Texan Manage Your Money or Sponsor Your National Game(1)
Chris Brown, Joaquin Phoenix successfully distract world from imminent collapse(5)
Official: The Internets is the most dangerous place in the world(0)
What the fuck is that? British functionality implodes at the site of “terrifying yet endearingly beautiful pixie dust” falling from sky(0)
French Take Ze Day Oeuf Because Work Iz For Ze, Ow You Say, Sexually Challenged(0)
Hudson River Landing sends FBI on Wild Goose Chase(0)
Citigroup Execs Terrified By Prospect of Flying in Claustrophobic 1st Class(0)
BBC Vetoes Gaza Charity in Hope that Increase in Dying Babies will Drive Public’s Thirst for News(0)
In a bid to stifle consumer pessimism, Government cancels the news.(0)
Britons Get Stab-Happy in Time of Crisis(0)
Obama ready to just start nuking fucking everybody(0)
Massive RBS losses beg the question: Who is hiding all the money under their floorboards?(0)
Emergency water landing – 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.(0)
Glitz and Glamour at the Closing of Guantanamo(0)
Google Kills Fairies(1)
You’ve all been little shits, so Santa isn’t coming(0)
Madoff to be bailed out by the Fed(0)
LA Gear returns to let us know it’s all going to be alright(1)
‘Cunt’ unlikely to go the way of ‘domino pusher’ at football grounds(0)
Load your mags, cock your hammer, and check your safety at the door because it’s smash and grab time at Woolworths(0)
This is all you fault – Black Hole ready and prepped to suck us into INFINITE TERROR(0)
Youtube Kills Joy in time for Christmas(0)
Bodhi Lives…to get radical(0)
Oh my fucking Christ. I paid twice the price for my Macbook because i thought it was invincible…(0)
Peaches Geldof to force-fuck your piss hole with her editorial(0)

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