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Ashley Cole Releases Album Telling His Side Of The Story
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Michael Foot Leaves Us With ‘Longest Suicide Note In History’
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Argentina Begins Drilling For Oil Off Isle of Wight
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What’s The Story Boring Tory: Brown’s Volcanic Temper Wins Over Voters
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Ugg Boots To Blame For Foot-Dragging Evolution Of Human Race
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England ‘Bored’ Of The Beautiful Game
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‘The Inconvenient Truth’ About How Britain Is Fighting The Big Freeze
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America Yanks Away Another Of Britain’s Finest
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Entrepreneurs Turn To OAPs To Provide Cheap Labour
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‘OAPs Are Stealing Our Jobs,’ Claim UK’s Migrant Worker Population
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The ‘Gillette Curse’ Claims Its Final Victim: Roger Federer
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Spurs Still Odds-On To Win 2010 World Cup
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8 Out Of 10 Cumbrians Prefer Living Underwater Anyway
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Thanks To M&S ‘Christmas Is Cancelled’
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‘She’s Like Peter Pan; She’ll Never Die’, Thatcher’s Doctor Claims
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Man Buys Sixth Poppy In As Many Days
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Cameron Threatens To Rebuild Berlin Wall In Kent, To Keep Out EU Menace
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A Bit Of A Tweet: Fry’s Attempt To Kick His 20-A-Day Habit
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Gordon Ramsay’s Chin to Be Used to Scare Children
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Trolly-Dollies Fail to Keep Feet on the Ground
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Playboy To Re-find His Bunny
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Young Republican Sells Equally Bigoted Mother For Advanced Copy Of Palin’s Book
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Prawn & Bred To Be A Sprinter
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Now Even Brown Says He’s Voting Tory
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‘Can’t Eat: Won’t Eat’ – Channel 4’s Appetite To Offend
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Oggle.co.uk at These Lovely Browsers
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Bent Or Brown? No, Not A Night Out In Soho, But Fantasy Football Season In Full Swing
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Swedish Lesbians Left ‘Absolutely Gagging’ For Swedish Man-Sperm
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State Forces Rapper to Change Name after Court Room Conviction
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Shared Experience of Woman’s Rump Brings Bitter Enemies Closer Together
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Well-Educated ‘Dole-Scum’ Turn To The Courts For Justice
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Charity Begins at Home (Office)
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Sven of Loxley to Make Sherwood Forest a National Park “Within 5 Years”
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Pink Pound to Send House Prices in the North “All the way Beta”
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Giant, European ‘Man of War’ to Govern the Peaceful, Little Europeans
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Early Sperm Gets The Bird: Teenage Geordie Gals Left Craving The Clone
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(Migrant) Aliens to Reclaim U.S. and A. for the Britons
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Nation Expects Very Average Home-Grown Sports Player To Dominate ‘Everyone’ And ‘Everything’
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Jackson to Never-Land On A Stage/Witness Stand Near You Again
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Facebook could help cleanse Africa of Catholicism ‘within weeks’
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BNP Promise ‘To Try Not To’ Emulate Ideological Forefathers
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Tube Closure is ‘Bad News’ for Exercise Shy Trans-Fatties
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Pistol-Whipping Drug Lords ‘Get Loco Down in Acapulco’
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Crass Ryanair Boss Given ‘One-Way Ticket to Anywhere Else’
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Her Majesty Cut From Supporting Cast in French ‘Saving Private Ryan’ Remake
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Tamil Tigers have “Ruined Christmas”, say Comfortable Ex-Pats
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“Will the last person to leave the Commons please turn the lights off?”
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‘Essex Princess’ to Save Jaded British Economy
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EU Sings Praises of Eurovision’s Voting System
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MPs Counting the Cost of Expensive Expenses
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Economic Nasties Force Soviets to Stick With Olive Uniforms
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Darling Played Piano on Sinking Titanic, say Witnesses
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F.A. to do Sweet F.A. about “Guff” Wemberley Pitch
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Real Americans Drink Beer With Low Calories
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Nation Thanks the Bankers, and the Jesus for 4-Day-Bender
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Saying “Yes” to Drugs Will Save the Country Billions
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G-20 Protests, Day 2: No Storm; All Teacup
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G-20 Protests, Day 1: Mob Sporting Chinos Attack ‘The Taxpayer’
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The Labour of Love: Home Secretary admits she’s the “Sex-Pest Pervert”
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Monday, Bloody Monday
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Holocaust Survivors, Jews, and Right-Minded People alike deny existence of Roman Catholic Bishop
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Peter Scandelson Left Brewing behind Bars, after Scolding “Who the fuckin’ hell are you?!” Attack on Coffee Magnate
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The Sun Never Rises on the British Empire
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A 4-Foot-Tall Fetus and a 15-Year-Old Sperm Dumpster: Britain’s Youngest Parents
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Nation Applauds Wunch of Bankers for Saving Capitalism from the Clutches of… Whatever the Opposite of Capitalism is
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Government’s proposed ID card system scrapped, as apparently everybody is already following everybody else
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Hedge Funds Hypothetically Kill Ugandan Orphans
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Asexual Government Types Outlaw “Extreme Porn”
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‘The bridge to somewhere…’ Republicans announce dream ‘12 Palin-Palin ticket
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I HOPE we can find enough CHANGE to pay for all this…
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This is Hart Attack…
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Belgians Attempt to Destroy Brit’s Sexy-Time Lives by Keeping Us ‘Oh So Very’ Bald
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Thank fuck for that – the oh so very important, and massive, UK car industry is going to be saved
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“Satire can’t compete with real life”
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Dickhead turned rapper turns vetinary surgeon
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Crash a-ah Gordon: He’ll save every one of us
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“I’m a Briton… get me the cock out of here”
