British Airways, reeling from the recent announcement that its cabin crew plan to strike for twelve days over Christmas, has begun legal action against the Christian Church, in the hope that they can suspend the religious holiday.

It is understood that the tactic is designed to nullify the threat of the festive walkout, by obtaining a legal delay on the celebration of Christ’s birth, and pushing the date back to the middle of February when they hope to have completed the implementation of cost-cutting measures. The hope is that once the religious legitimisation of an end of year work break is removed, employees will be forced to return to work, and will be unable to take their currently crew-less flights.

It has been suggested that BA are to argue to the the High Court that the tradition of Christmas is based on nothing but the mythical teachings of mistranslated book compilated from the ramblings of men who genuinely believed it was possible for a women to become pregnant without any help from a man, despite all scientific evidence ever pointing to the contrary.

BA hopes that by pursuing a claim that Christmas could reasonably be based on something that probably never happened they will be able to bring about a postponement of the celebration, until a time which better suits their economic slim-lining plan, when they will withdraw their claim that Jesus is neither the son of God nor born to a virgin, apologise to the Christians, confess, have their sins forgiven, say a few hail marys, and begin discounting flights in time for ‘Christmas in Spring.’