David Beckham yesterday confirmed his place at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa after finishing top of his European qualifying group.

Beckham single handedly dismantled Belarus, in the final group game last night, despite only playing for 31 minutes and being surrounded by what Steve Bruce described as a “team of classless players, all of whom turned Sunderland down in the summer transfer window.”

The England midfielder was handed the man of the match award yesterday after coming off the bench for the last half hour of the game, flaunting his new facial hair, and completing a pass from a corner that led completely indirectly to a Sean Wright-Philips goal.

After Saturdays loss in Ukraine, in which Beckham did not play, the LA Galaxy player said “Team Beckham didn’t really fancy it after they said the game wasn’t on telly. I thought nobody would see it – so I didn’t bother getting changed into my kit. Anyways it was nice for England to get a run out in my absence. The team has to explore its options in case Hollywood comes calling next Summer.”

Bruce later explained that Beckham’s Santa beard had fooled him into thinking that if he was to award the player with man of the match, he would return the favour by bringing him a motorized dinosaur on Christmas day.