Next season when you’re watching Celebrity Big Brother, pretending not like it because Heat says its no good these days and you don’t want to upset the bland, but more self-confident people you call your friends, and you announce that “watching this is like Hell,” you will, in fact, have a point.

The new Big Brother house has been revealed by production company Endemol this week, and the new set has been crafted to resemble Hell. The house will feature macabre sculptures, animal skulls and a kitchen inspired by a hospital morgue. Producers are hoping that the house, like hell and in a sense like most of the previous Big Brother houses, will imbue the contestants will a deep sense of shame and guilt.

Much of the design of the new house is said to have been based on Dante’s Inferno and the famous line ‘Abandon hope all ye who enter here.’ Suggestions that the production team had hoped to follow Dante’s exact description of Hell by creating a special circle of torture and depravity specifically designed for Jews is said to be wide of the mark.

The redesigned house includes a large living room area with fur rugs, gilded panels, ornate lamps and upholstered couches. Meanwhile the kitchen is decorated with outsized insects in specimen jars which executives at Channel Four are hoping the contestants will either try to eat or fuck in the hope the a cannibalism/necrophilia/bestiality combo will boost ratings.

“It really would be the last taboo,” said a producer, “Can you imagine some obscure and delightfully unhinged celebrity thrusting away at a dead lizard with embalming fluid flying against the camera. That’s BAFTA stuff right there.”