The man literally has nothing to smile about. All Gordon Brown’s friends have de-tagged him from their Facebook photos , only last weekend Dame Margaret Thatcher called him as a “nancy, with a girly-man economic policy”, and to top it off he has a face even his mother can’t love. But all this changed today with the simple pen-stroking dot of an ‘i’ and the crossing of a ‘t’.

Friday saw the signing of what will in time become know as the ‘peace of paper’, upon which an increasingly popular British National Party Chancellor, Nick Griffin, signed adherence to a package of promises – as decreed by the right minded, telephone-voting peoples of Britain.

Included upon the A4, margined-ruled, single-sided piece of paper Griffin and his supremacist band of miscreants agreed to leave Czechoslovakia alone, to not march up the Champs Eleysees with a smug look on their faces, and to “probably not” try and attempt to invade Poland if their party were to come to power at the next General Election. Well, at least that’s what Brown tells us he thinks it said; as thanks to an brunchtime altercation with Peter ’say it don’t spray it’ Mandelson – the government Trade Secretary – the writing upon the paper became ’smudged beyond nearly all recognition’.

On the steps of 10 Downing Street this morning, Prime Minister Gordon Brown proclaimed that he and the BNP Chancellor, Herr Griffin, had agreed to a ‘peace in their time’, of sorts.

However, despite his own optimism, Brown’s Neville-Chamberlain-esque appeasement policy has been met with widespread disapproval from weak-tea-drinking students with too much time to spend reading books protesters.

In particular the PM has been attacked for allowing the BNP to register a candidate in the Sudetenland for upcoming local elections, and for admitting in a television interview that allowing extra ‘Lebensraum’ for the BNP’s growing support base sounded like “a perfectly good idea”.

In the same interview, to be aired on your television sometime when you’re probably not watching, Brown was asked by a journalist what he thought of BNP members sporting matching brown shirt and tie combo’s at public events .

“Are you taking the fookin’ piss laddie,” came the response. “You well know I’ve only got one eye that works around 80% of the time.”

Said journalist was left with only one possible conclusion to come to: If Gordon Brown wasn’t colour-blind he’d definitely maybe be a racist.