British universities will only be offering about a third of the clearing places normally available in the past to prospective students in an attempt to boost a flagging economy by “culling the stupids.”

Two thirds of A-level students who would normally get into university through the clearing system will be left without a place this year and will instead be forced to find a job or use their initiative to make money.

Britain’s Chief of Education said today “These half-brains would have had the chance in the past to sit around eating macaroni sandwiches for four years while claiming grant money for their useless degree in art sociology or whatever they can get away with pretending they’re interested in. But not anymore. There’s no money left to just educate every fuckwit who can get a C in A-Level Food Technology.”

The lack of clearing places is being protested by the National Union of Students (NUS) who claim that not educating capable students might possibly be detrimental to an economy in need of intelligent workers rather than over-testosteroned men in striped blazers and slick back hair pretending that they’re doing a real job instead of gambling with people’s livelihoods in a massive game of who can sell or buy more things without ever creating anything useful.

The Government have said they have plans to create alternate opportunities for the students who find themselves rejected at clearing. A spokesperson said that they will be setting up an informative website that will explain how to sign on, as well as offering advice on how to best spend several years out of the workplace while futilely waiting for a dead cat of an economy to bounce.