Entertainment 
‘Where’s EastEnders?’, Ask Britain’s Women(0)
Britain’s women reacted with anger last night, after it emerged that popular BBC soap opera EastEnders had inexplicably disappeared from the evening’s TV schedules. “Where’s EastEnders?”, said the nation’s female population, demonstrating expressions of shock, dismay and confusion. The programme appeared to have been replaced at the last minute by a newly commissioned comedy involving [...]
Lost Finale Reveals Island As Place Where Fan Delusions Go To Die
The epic finale of the Lost television series ended controversially yesterday as the infamous island was revealed to be a metaphysical embodiment of the eternal disappointment of television viewers. As the adventures of the castaways came to the ultimate conclusion the worst fears of many fans were realised as the show revealed that the island [...]
Dr Who Makes First Public Appearance Since Molestation Charges
The celebrity time traveller ‘Dr Who’ appeared on television screens across the nation on Saturday night, marking his first public appearance since admitting to a string of affairs with his female companions stretching back over 35 years. In front of a conference of hand-picked journalists from across the galaxy, the disgraced time-traveller admitted ‘I knew [...]
‘Friend Of Hard Men’ Danny Dyer To Receive OBE
Cultsha can reveal that pioneering documentary maker Daniel Dyer is to receive an Order of the British Empire (OBE) from Her Majesty the Queen. A leaked blueprint of the Queen’s birthday want list for 2010 reveals a recognition of Dyer’s work at the top, just above a new zirconium-plated kennel for the corgis. On June [...]
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- Gordon Ramsay’s Chin to Be Used to Scare Children
- Daily Mail: Stephen Gately Died From Being In Boy-zone
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- World Sentenced to Five More Years of Chris Brown
- State Forces Rapper to Change Name after Court Room Conviction
- Shared Experience of Woman’s Rump Brings Bitter Enemies Closer Together
- Inmates Looking Forward to Making Chris Brown’s Acquaintance
- Chris Brown Apologises for Musical Assault
- Her Majesty Cut From Supporting Cast in French ‘Saving Private Ryan’ Remake
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- EU Sings Praises of Eurovision’s Voting System
- Terrifying Woman, Old, Has Great Voice
- Bo the Puptastic Premier Pooch
- Swedish Taxman makes Strippers bare all
- Rihanna hoping to turn out ‘just like Whitney’
- 350,000 Clamour to See Baby-Waving Lunatic
- Pete Wentz Ditches the Guyliner, Joins Hamas
- Chris Brown, Joaquin Phoenix successfully distract world from imminent collapse
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- Somalia to Become a Theme Park, United Nations Announces
- Asexual Government Types Outlaw “Extreme Porn”
- This is Hart Attack…
- Glitz and Glamour at the Closing of Guantanamo
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