Politics 
Paul Gascoigne Named UK Ambassador to UN(0)
Former England footballer Paul Gascoigne has been named the UK’s ambassador to the UN, after driving all the way from Newcastle to ask for the job. Gascoigne, known to millions as ‘Gazza’, turned up at UN headquarters in New York on Friday night claiming to be a friend of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “Just let [...]
Video Club Debt Has Cost Britain Dear, Announces Chancellor In Emergency Budget
It’s official, the good times are over: Britain’s 13-year-long loan of a VHS copy of Titanic from a movie rental store in Twickenham has cost the country dear. In his Emergency Budget speech today, Chancellor George Osborne was left red-faced after opening the Budget briefcase to find only a £60bn bill from the bailiffs inside. [...]
Clegg announces plans for ‘extreme makeover’ of politics
Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has announced plans to perform an ‘extreme makeover’ on British politics if his party achieve power in the election today. Although details on the policy are hazy, it is assumed the makeover will involve British politics receiving a complete transformation at the hands of a team of plastic surgeons, dietary [...]
My Single Vote Won’t Make Any Difference, Say 46 Million People
With a slight interest in party politics, but failing to see the point of voting when you live in a constituency considered a ‘safe seat’, an estimated 46 million eligible voters have been asking themselves whether their vote would really be missed if they just threw their election polling card away. “I’m sure nobody would [...]
More in this category:
- Nick Clegg Will Burn Your Cacti, Children
- BNP Add to Political Weight with Murder Plot
- Oh Dear Darling! Nation Up In Arms After Chancellor Hikes Tax On Cider
- Darling Forces Britain To Holiday In Skegness
- Party Leaders Race to Knock Up Wives
- Obama Thrilled About Adopting Inescapable Doom of NHS
- Lib Dems Woo Masturbator Vote
- Obama Gears Up for Health Care Reformapalooza 2010
- Next Parliament Will Be ‘Hung’, Boasts Clegg
- What’s The Story Boring Tory: Brown’s Volcanic Temper Wins Over Voters
- Britain Ten Times Worse Than You Think, Say Tories
- ‘I Just Wanted to Fuck Saddam Up,’ Blair Tells Iraq Inquiry
- Nick Clegg’s ‘Change in 2010′ Speech Leaves Britain Speechless
- Brown Demands Faster Knee Jerks to Tackle Terrorism
- Cameron: Fighting Class War ‘A Bally Stupid Idea’
- Gordon Brown Won’t Shut Up About Twilight: New Moon
- Herman van Something Named President of Europe
- Who Says Politics is For Grown-Ups – Bullying at Labour Upper School – Class of ‘09
- ‘She’s Like Peter Pan; She’ll Never Die’, Thatcher’s Doctor Claims
- Brown Blames Handwriting for War in Afghanistan
- Cameron Threatens To Rebuild Berlin Wall In Kent, To Keep Out EU Menace
- BNP Expected to Talk Loudly, Throw Patio Furniture on Question Time
- Young Republican Sells Equally Bigoted Mother For Advanced Copy Of Palin’s Book
- Now Even Brown Says He’s Voting Tory
- Britain’s Dear Leader, The Sun, Decides on Leadership Change
- PM To Fix Economy By Selling Illegal Immigrants
- Charity Begins at Home (Office)
- Giant, European ‘Man of War’ to Govern the Peaceful, Little Europeans
- Equality and Human Rights Commission Investigates ‘Suspiciously Discriminatory’ Membership Policy
- BNP Promise ‘To Try Not To’ Emulate Ideological Forefathers
- BNP to Rid Britain of Scourge of Family Run Newsagents
- Jacqui Smith Ends Tenure to Take Time Out for ‘Porno Sundays’
- Tory MP To Repay ‘Slave Costs’
- “Will the last person to leave the Commons please turn the lights off?”
- MPs Counting the Cost of Expensive Expenses
- US Threatens Sanctions on Well Groomed Beards in Iran
- Darling Played Piano on Sinking Titanic, say Witnesses
- Tories Change Party Line: Children Should Not be Trusted
- Saying “Yes” to Drugs Will Save the Country Billions
- Berlusconi beach bungle
- Chinese throw in the towel and re-open Tibetan tourism
- France and Germany in Cahoots To Destroy World
- The Labour of Love: Home Secretary admits she’s the “Sex-Pest Pervert”
- Iran Confused by Obama’s Olive Branch: Uses it to Self-Flagellate
- Obama to “fuck them China Ninjas up”
- Monday, Bloody Monday
- German Crackdown on Neo-Nazi Music Hailed by Neo-Nazi Groups as “Sufficiently Fascist”
- Bank of England says ‘fuck it’ and wheels out printing presses
- Fred “The Shred” Goodwin and Gordon “The Gopher” Brown in (Tax) Submission Cage Match
- RBS Losses Bring Out the Worst in All of Us
- Peter Scandelson Left Brewing behind Bars, after Scolding “Who the fuckin’ hell are you?!” Attack on Coffee Magnate
- Turkmenistan President: “No Such Thing as Bad Press”
- Africa Roundup: One Monopoly Dollar Now > One Zimbabwean Dollar; Citizens Panic, Shit Everywhere
- Hedge Funds Hypothetically Kill Ugandan Orphans
- BBC Vetoes Gaza Charity in Hope that Increase in Dying Babies will Drive Public’s Thirst for News
- In a bid to stifle consumer pessimism, Government cancels the news.
- ‘The bridge to somewhere…’ Republicans announce dream ‘12 Palin-Palin ticket
- Obama ready to just start nuking fucking everybody
- I HOPE we can find enough CHANGE to pay for all this…
- Crash a-ah Gordon: He’ll save every one of us
