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Aliens Probably Just as Shit as Humans

Aliens Probably Just as Shit as Humans(0)

April 27, 2010

Aliens are real and they probably want to throw patio furniture at you, according to physicist Stephen Hawking. In a new television documentary, Hawking claims that alien lifeforms are unlikely to want to lead the human race into a new technological dawn, and in fact probably enjoy setting fire to things and hitting animals. Science [...]

Aliens Probably Just as Shit as Humans
Theorectical Buoyant Atlantic Bridge Project Given Go-Ahead

Theorectical Buoyant Atlantic Bridge Project Given Go-Ahead

Gordon Brown has announced ambitious plans to build an underwater bridge between England and the USA after watching a television program that depicted the hypothetical possibilities of such a project. The concept, which is said to have almost no basis in reality, is seen by some sceptics as an attempt to financially cripple any rival [...]

Fruit Won’t Save You, Study Finds

Fruit Won’t Save You, Study Finds

A major new scientific study of morbidity and mortality, covering millions of subjects from across the world, has found that you are definitely going to die, no matter how much fruit you eat. “Frankly, you’re screwed,” said Gerry Fitzpatrick, principal author of the study. “You can eat as much fruit and veg as you like, [...]

Large Hadron Collider Creates ‘Mini Big Bang’, or ‘Bang’

Large Hadron Collider Creates ‘Mini Big Bang’, or ‘Bang’

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the particle accelerator at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), has succeeded in creating what reports are calling a “mini Big Bang”, also known as a “Bang”. The Bang occurred on Tuesday afternoon, when beams of protons collided at record speeds within the 17-mile long circular tunnel located underground [...]


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