Sport 
Tour de France At The Mercy Of Bike Gangs(0)
“Bike gang culture has marred what has been an otherwise splendid Tour de France,” were the damning words from cycling legend and five times Tour winner Eddy Merckx this morning. After years of battling to keep it under control, the Tour’s organisers conceded that in 2010 the urban gangs of cycling’s underbelly have finally pedaled [...]
God Will Help Us Beat Those German Kuntz, Say Church Go-ers
Churches across England enjoyed record attendances this morning ahead of today’s Englands game against Germany in the World Cup. Football fans gathered in their thousands at their local parish churches to pray, to an authority higher than FIFA, that England’s perennial underachievers beat those German non-believers in the Free State stadium in South Africa. “We’ve [...]
We Are English and We Have Opinions, Explain Fans
England supporters have voiced their discontent with the national football team this weekend by announcing that they know stuff about things, and would like to share this subjective knowledge with you through the medium of shouting. After the dire performance against Algeria on Friday, England fans, convinced of their individually superior footballing knowledge, have taken [...]
Nation Almost Positive Capello Has No Idea
The English public has revealed this week that it is fairly sure the England Manager, Fabio Capello, knows nothing about football. The nation explained it has decided, on the back of England completely unacceptable draw against the USA, that the Italian’s exemplary management record is some kind of irrelevant fiction and that Capello clearly cannot [...]
More in this category:
- Capello Threatens to Set Rooney on Paparazzi
- New World Cup Football Expected to Lead to Top Notch Hilarity
- Emile Heskey Loses World Cup Place to Cardboard Cut-Out of Emile Heskey
- England Mathematically Certain to Win World Cup
- Even We Find Rowing A Boring Sport To Watch, Say Formula One Drivers
- Sven Goran Eriksson To Lead Ivory Coast Pirate Army
- Capello Confident 22 English Players Will Survive Season
- Ashley Cole Releases Album Telling His Side Of The Story
- Curling Team Claim Intra-Team Infidelity Will Not Affect Olympic Chances
- Pretty Girl Also Good Skier
- England ‘Bored’ Of The Beautiful Game
- Iran Football Chief Sorry for Forgetting Non-Existence of ‘Israel’
- The ‘Gillette Curse’ Claims Its Final Victim: Roger Federer
- Berlusconi not ready for Pacquiao fight, admits trainer
- Spurs Still Odds-On To Win 2010 World Cup
- Maradona Gives Press The ‘Dry Handjob Of God’
- English Rugby Enters Seventh Consecutive Transitional Year
- Playboy To Re-find His Bunny
- Beckham Qualifies for World Cup Despite Playing for England
- Rio Pickpockets Olympics; Lula Excited About Extra Change
- England Fans Reveal Internet Ignorance
- Prawn & Bred To Be A Sprinter
- ‘Jinxed’ to be Replaced by ‘Mowened’ In English Dictionary
- Bent Or Brown? No, Not A Night Out In Soho, But Fantasy Football Season In Full Swing
- Roman Abramovich to Have Fifa’s Legs Broken
- Harry Redknapp Suspected of Perverting the Course of Football
- English Use Bat and Ball To Re-Establish Colonial Power
- Alex Ferguson Furious At Arrogant Teams That Dare to Compete With Him
- Sven of Loxley to Make Sherwood Forest a National Park “Within 5 Years”
- Michael Owen Wins Alex Ferguson’s Old Trafford Golden Ticket
- Nation Expects Very Average Home-Grown Sports Player To Dominate ‘Everyone’ And ‘Everything’
- Freddie Shepherd Offers £60 Million to Financially Piss On Mike Ashley
- Beckham Looks On Like a Proud Father as ‘His’ USA Blossom Into Champions
- Manchester United Sign Agreement to Become Feeder Club To Real Madrid
- Burnley To Bring Patio-Furniture Related Violence to Premier League
- Newcastle Still Biggest Club in the World Claim Fans
- Beckham Urged to Scruff Hair At Launch of World Cup Bid
- Rafael Benitez Refuses to Concede Title As Manchester United Lift Trophy
- Footballers to Heed Wise Words of Gascoigne
- Ferrari Throw Their Toys Out of Their 250MPH Cockpit
- Ledley King Damages Knee on Man’s Face
- Frank Lampard Tells Radio Presenter He Doesn’t Hate his Kids
- F.A. to do Sweet F.A. about “Guff” Wemberley Pitch
- Fondling and Fraud: Why You Should Never Let a Greasy Texan Manage Your Money or Sponsor Your National Game
- Africa Roundup: One Monopoly Dollar Now > One Zimbabwean Dollar; Citizens Panic, Shit Everywhere
- Report: Millwall Hooligans Tapped to Oust Al-Qaeda from Pakistan’s North-West Frontier Province
- ‘Cunt’ unlikely to go the way of ‘domino pusher’ at football grounds
