Current Affairs 
Government To Consider Winter Break For Exhausted Population(0)
July 23, 2010
The Government is considering implementing a winter break for exhausted English employees after poor performances at work this summer we’re blamed on the strain of completely reasonable continuous employment during January. The schedule of the Christmas period, when workers are expected to perform for up to four days a week while carrying heavy hangovers from [...]
BP Plugs Leak With Giant Vuvuzela
You can stop worrying, the world’s oil supply isn’t going to run out in the next twenty minutes. Today, oil behemoth BP announced that its attmept to stem the crude flow of oil into the Gulf of Mexico using a giant vuvuzela as a rudimentary plugging device, has proven to be successful. “We’re putting all our [...]
Local Man Defies Hose Pipe Ban
A man in Northern Cumbria has reportedly defied a recently imposed hose pipe ban and proceeded to freely water his flower bed while apparently wearing a, “horrifying and unrepentant look of ambivalence.” John Harrows was said by neighbours to have been liberally hydrating his plants in broad daylight on Wednesday afternoon, despite receiving a letter [...]
Israel Opens Up First Gaza Strip Club
With the world shaking its head in disapproval at the Israeli intervention of Gaza-bound aid ships, Israel has attempted to appease relations with Palestine by opening a high-end gentlemen’s club in the heart of Gaza City. Israel’s President, Benjamin Netanyahu, commented that he hoped the unveiling of the Gaza Strip Club would be a diplomatic [...]
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