In a recent survey European couples have said that the conception or birth of a child around Christmas time is the last thing they would put on their list to Santa.

The poll revealed that given the choice between a newborn, and an X-Box with one controller and the definite chance of a red ring of death in the first three months, parents around Europe would choose the X-box. In a further question almost 90 percent of couples claimed that they thought a piece of coal would bring more stability to their relationship.

Father of one Steve Evans told us today “Every Christmas is ruined after i wake up from a booze-catalysed dream in which i live with a 6-foot blond with whom i have an open relationship and am solely concerned with the maintenance of my 68 inch plasma screen, to the reality of the screaming, vomit machine I was ‘blessed’ with one 25th of December. Fuck fucking Santa Claus.”

The results of the survey coincide with a claim from the leader of Britain’s Jewish community that the continent’s population is in decline because people care more about shopping than the sacrifice involved in parenthood.

The Rabbi told an a religious think tank that most people considered children less important than the frivolous delights of the ice cream factory at a Pizza Hut, because consumer society had taught them to ignore responsibility and instead pursue their dreams of learning to fly like a bird.

“The couples of Europe are more interested in making a name for themselves in the competitive eating circuit, than in creating another life. However if we continue in this vein, the indigenous religious population of Europe will die out leaving only neo-Darwinians capable of forming their own opinions without relying on a old books filled with stories about drinking blood and floating men with wings.”