Bored of Michael O’Leary’s incessant potty-mouth, his human rights-ignorant money making schemes, and his airline’s constant status as ‘indefinitely delayed’ upon airport departure boards across the country, the Ryanair chief’s industry counterparts have pooled together to send him on “the holiday for a lifetime”.

Top aviation industry dogs including: Virgin Atlantic’s Richard Branson, easyJet’s airline-mogul Stelios Haji-loannou, and Aer Lingus executive Colm Barrington the 14^th, have collectively raised the value of a one-way, cattle-class Ryanair seat to a location as yet unbeknown to O’Leary.

O’Leary, a worthy scapegoat for all things currently going badly in the U.K., has faced a barrage of criticism of late for his ‘profit before passengers’ policies.

In 2009 alone, the budget airline has introduced a series of hidden charges to passengers – all with well marketed and appealing slogans.

First came the ‘Spend a pound to spend a penny’ charge for the use of toilets in flight. “All this pious stuff about you can’t charge people for entering a toilet. Fine; we’ll charge you to exit the toilet instead, you little shit-tickets,” commented O’Leary.

Next up was the ‘Bringing your own chair doesn’t make it cheaper’ campaign - an excess cock-pit by-the-square-centimetre-charge aimed at disableds who take up too much room.

And, this week saw the introduction of ‘Environ-mentalists are plane stupid’ – a top-up charge doubling the price of a ticket for anybody with a vaguely sudo-leftist doctrine, who has ever seen Al Gore’s propaganda film ‘An Inconvenient Truth’, or who has voted for the Green Party in past elections.

“We want to annoy the fuckers… The best thing we can do with environmentalists is cut off their dreads, stamp on their soya beans and microwave the Kula Shaker albums they own on vinyl… They are luddites marching us back to the 18^thcentury,” spieled the increasingly liberal Ryanair C.E.O.

PM Gordon Brown has responded to claims that Mr. O’Leary’s adventure into other people’s misery holiday is more-or-less an extradition, by saying that it should be thought of as more of a “round the world trip, like those STA-Travel doting students take – but without the traveling around, without the sexy transmitted diseases that eat away at your grundle, and without the retuning back to mum and dad’s house in Reading when the money runs out.”

O’Leary’s one-way flight is scheduled to depart London’s Stansted airport at 1900 GMT, Friday, although it will undoubtedly be delayed due for unforeseen circumstances.