For the United States the Cold War ended with the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991. For Castro’s band of Cubanians it ended a few short moments after the US.. started producing it’s own rum and labeling it as Latin; Bacardi. For the Ruskies, thanks to the introduction of the interwebs three weeks ago, the Cold War ended for them just this week.

Naturally, in a nation famed for its “well fucking futile” and “rad” sense of fashion revolutionising, the Russian military’s Soviet-Motherland-RatherRigid military uniforms was first on the agenda.

Sadly for our nasty-little left-wing neighbours friends from Europe/Asia/Eurasia, who had swiftly called in a “well hype” fashion designer to replace the current gulag-alike attire, reality has bitten in.

Thanks to the until-recent absence of telecommunications, The People’s Republic of Russia has been saved from the economic nasties which have making us all choose Tesco’s own cider over organic brewed-somewhere-fucking-nice-in-Herefordshire apple juice on this indulgent bank holiday weekend.

But with the timely invasion of Mozilla and Internet Explorer, Russia got the wises. Russian PM Vladamir Putin, was forced to officially abandon the plan to make the uniforms of Russia’s finest a little more – how you might say – fresh..

Despite Putin owning Chelsea F.C. owner, Roman Abrahamovic ‘s ass there is apparently not enough Roubles to pay for military uniforms for soldiers taking part part in the forthcoming Victory Day parade.

So, instead of looking spruce in some fancy outfits that would make a Hoxton Square prince bleed tears in shame, the ‘Red Guard’ will remain in the rather drab olive shades inherited from the former Soviet Union. Well, at least for the meantime.