In a cash-for-strikers scandal, it has been revealed today that the Royal Mail strike has been partly motivated by Google, in an attempt to move the whole of Britain’s mail network onto Google’s Gmail system.

Despite the appearance that the cash hungry, layabout employees of Royal Mail are simply striking for a couple of days off work, and to flew their muscles, in an unsubtle attempt to boost their flagging self-esteem over having jobs that involve putting envelopes into holes, it seems there is another motive behind the action…

Cultsha has uncovered a scandal that suggests the Silicon Valley-based conglomerate Google has been offering ’the friendly postie on the garden path’ cash in return for their striking support, in a futile attempt to destroy the anachronistic mail industry. In addition Google is said to be using manipulative, ego-stroking persuasive tactics by telling Royal Mail employees that their ability to wheel a mail trolley will be much coveted in the supermarket industry.

A spokesperson for Google denied the claims today in a statement that didn’t sound at all like they were protesting too much; “Seriously we love paper mail, its so romantic in its slowness and inconvenience, and its really great how only about half of the things you send make it to their destination. It’s like a daily surprise. Not like boring old email with takes less than a second to send and is 99.99999% reliable; unless of course you use Hotmail. What we like the most about Royal Mail is how its funded by the tax payer, but you still have to pay extra for it, even when they can’t be arsed to work. It’s a perfect system, that Google strives every day to mimic.

Meanwhile CWU general secretary Billy Hayes responded today from his brand new Google Wave account saying “There is no truth in these allegations. Royal Mail is bigger than Google and we are bigger than the Government. If I have my way, we will run this country into the ground, or at least to a point where you all stop using postal mail in favour of a more reliable unnamed online service. But for now, I’m off to stand outside the Post Office with a cuppa and show my support of such sterling waste of our national reserves. What recession”