With the world shaking its head in disapproval at the Israeli intervention of Gaza-bound aid ships, Israel has attempted to appease relations with Palestine by opening a high-end gentlemen’s club in the heart of Gaza City. Israel’s President, Benjamin Netanyahu, commented that he hoped the unveiling of the Gaza Strip Club would be a diplomatic success, as it would offer the 1.5 million residents of Gaza an escape from their ‘rather pathetic and meaningless lives’.

Following the attacks on the aid flotilla at the end of May, Israel has been met with widespread finger-wagging from such quarters at the UN, the EU, and Turkey – who appears quick to forget its own submissive treatment of its Kurdish population. However, the land that flows with milk and honey is hoping that by opening the region’s first strip joint, it will provide itself with some much-needed leverage to commandeer a few more ships laden with food, wheelchairs and completely non-essential school supplies. “Seriously, what’s more humanitarian than providing a high-grade strip joint?” commented the club’s manager. “It’ll be a classy place. They’ll be no ‘happy endings’ in this part of the Middle East; that’s for sure,” he continued, before pausing, in recognition of how apt his words really were.

Indeed, the club’s manager may well be right, as the initial reaction to the Gaza Strip Club among Gaza residents appears to bode well for future relations between the two bitter rivals. “It’s brilliant, after a long day fighting for your civil liberties, you can come in here grab a cool beer and ogle like a sex-pest pervert over another man’s daughter” commented one of the club’s first punters. “Only problem is, they’re gonna start getting jealous over in the West Bank when they hear about this. While we’re looking at all this fine, young Lebanese titty, all they’ve to look at is a wall.”

However, not all of Gaza’s ailing residents are satisfied with neighbouring Israel’s token humanitarian gesture. “It’s just a weapon of mass distraction to divert our attention from the real issue at hand,” commented one gun-totting member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).”It’s ridiculous, there has been a massacre of innocent peoples in international waters and all the media does is focus its reporting on the opening of the region’s first strip club,” he added.