Heavily armed Somalian pirates operating off the east coast of Africa are making it almost impossible for small independent kidnappers to make a living, their trade association has claimed.

A number of high-profile abductions have taken place in recent months in the Indian Ocean, including the seizure of several cargo vessels and the capture of two British tourists sailing from the Seychelles. Domestic kidnappers had only recently found effective ways to compete with extremist terrorists by mastering the craft of arbitrary decapitation, only to find themselves overwhelmed by this new trend.

In a statement released today, the Society for Worldwide Independent Practitioners of Ensnarement (SWIPE) said: “Aggressive and monopolistic tactics by lawless thugs are giving a bad name to traditional, honest kidnappers and making it impossible for them to get the media coverage required to turn a profit. This comes at a time of unprecedented falls in ransom revenues caused by the global recession, and is a real slap in the face for small independent kidnappers everywhere.”

Dave Costello, who runs a one-man kidnapping business off the M1 in Hertfordshire, says that without the means of publicising his ransom demands he is unable to sell the majority of his stock. “It’s creating a huge backlog of hostages that I just can’t shift. Most of these people just went out to Tesco for milk and a packet of cigarettes and their loved ones don’t even realise they’re gone.”

Businessmen like Costello are being forced to diversify in order to cover their costs. “Keeping hundreds of hostages alive involves a huge expense in food, clothing and gaffer tape,” he says.

“I’m trying to offset that by getting them to sew glove puppets, which I sell from my barn off junction 5, just north of Watford. But it’s difficult because they keep sewing the words ‘Help me’ and ‘Call the police’ into the lining, and you’ve obviously got to advertise the shop while making sure you muffle the screams.”

SWIPE’s spokesperson argues that the pirates’ media dominance has become anti-competitive: “Given their position in the market, we would expect them to behave like real pirates and just pillage what they need, but instead they are muscling out their competitors like some kind of heartless retail conglomerate. It really is shoddy behaviour.”

Costello accepts that his struggles, like those of many businesses, are a question of supply and demand, but he is pessimistic about the future of his business. “I’m supplying my demands,” he says, “but no-one’s paying up.”