Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced plans to aid the English economy by selling illegal immigrants. The first phase of his plan was completed today when, in conjunction with the French police, an immigrant camp in Calais was raided and several thousand potentially cheap and rights-less workers were seized.

The new plans, catalysed by the recent discovery that Britain’s Attorney General has employed an illegal immigrant to scrub the places in-between for the past two years, will offer the public the opportunity to have their very own indentured servant. For a small fee of £5000, the public will be able to purchase an illegal immigrant to clean their house, build their patio or exploit within the sex industry.

Attorney General Baroness Scotland claims not to have had any idea that the person in her employ was working illegally in this country, whilst also telling customs officers that she was under the impression that the minimum wage was still 47 pence and hour, despite the fact that she is the government’s chief legal adviser.

It is hoped that the new scheme will relieve some of the recession worries of the very rich, many of whom have been concerned about over-spending on the ‘help.’ Brown told reporters today that the new scheme is motivated by his desire to “please some friends who have been upset since we gave the ethnics human rights.”