Tag archive for ‘Cars’
Pedestrians to Be Forced to Sprint Through Gauntlet of Vin Diesel Wannabes
Bleached blond, faux-hippie Boris Johnson, who told everyone how much he loved eating broccoli and hanging out with trees when he was trying to get elected as Mayor of London, has abandoned plans to increase the pedestrianisation of London. Johnson has instead proposed cutting the time given to pedestrians to cross the road in a [...]
Somalia to Become a Theme Park, United Nations Announces
Mogadishu – UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon today unveiled plans to transform the Republic of Somalia into “a tourist attraction greater in scale, scope, and entertainment value than Disneyworld, Ibiza, and Bali combined.”
Deemed “the world’s most utterly failed state” by the Wall Street Journal, Somalia has long been embroiled in various bloody civil conflicts, with [...]
Thank fuck for that – the oh so very important, and massive, UK car industry is going to be saved
Like a prodigal foetus steadying itself at the tip of the Olympic diving platform, Britain’s car manufacturers, workers, and drivers are gushing repeated “whoop, whoop’s”, as they rejoice in the Government’s proposed £667m Bail-Out package.
“I’m pretty sure Britain invented the car, and the dog, and before all of that the MF wheel,” spewed Peter Mandelson, [...]
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