Tag archive for ‘Jade Goody’
‘Essex Princess’ to Save Jaded British Economy
In life she was Chancellor Alistair Darling’s muse. In death she is Britain’s greatest stimulus package, and its last bastion of capitalist awesomeness. That’s right we’re talking about Jade ‘The Jade Goody’ Goody; the embodiment of all that is average good about our redundant island nation. It takes a lot of ‘ifs’, but ‘if’ the [...]
Apple Pulls ‘Jade Goody Cancer’ Game
Apple have quietly pulled from iTunes a game in which the primary aim is to overexpose Jade Goody until she gets ill and dies. The withdrawal of the ‘Give Jade Goody Cancer’ application follows closely on the heels of a game that featured in the Apple store in which the aim was to shake a [...]
Saying “Yes” to Drugs Will Save the Country Billions
At some point or other we’ve all wondered into a house party only to see Michael Phelps slumped in a corner taking a ‘ripple’ on a so-called ‘bong’. In the same vein several of my peers have reliably informed me that on occasion their friends have tried to friend-pressure them into taking “one of the [...]
The Sun Never Rises on the British Empire
Thanks to hundreds of years of a somewhat-selective pedigree breading, in a climate chosen for its distinct absence of day light, Britain successfully defeated the heat-bearing, vegetable-growing curse from the sky. And, in doing so it was able to claim victory in its battle to rid its shores of all traces of ‘healthy glow’ skin [...]
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