Just like in the film Final Destination where the grim reaper had ‘a plan’ to catch up with those who cheated death, the fall from grace of three sporting heroes of the modern era was written on the bathroom mirror in shaving foam long before the events of the last-few weeks played out.

There was a time when messrs. Henry, Woods and Federer were the undisputed leaders in their field, fairway, or court for that matter. Unsurprisingly, like any business-savvy sports personality, the talented trio were soon seduced by the lucrative gold-grabbing world of product endorsement. However, despite all the smiles at the first-inking of their multi-million dollar contracts with luxury razor firm Gillette, the part where their worlds would later capitulate around them was seemingly overlooked in the small-print.

First, the world scorned at Henry for his ‘hand of Gaul’ antics which helped France cut clean through their close shave-with World Cup elimination at the qualifying stage. Then, Woods was publicly exposed as a bit of a sex-pest pervert, having had more mistresses than he has Masters Tournament victories; and that’s really saying something for a man of his calibre. In addition, Tiger isn’t yet out of the woods with the golfing authorities. In fact, Woods still faces a potential ban from the sport’s top body, the PGA, after the words ‘Get wild, hit bitches’ were found engraved on the inside of his 4 wood which had been left in a Florida clubhouse. And finally, last night, in a third round ATP Tour match against an unranked wild card Belarusian, Federer finally dropped a set. This begs the question: are these three men, really the best Gillette can get?

‘When comparing the three sporting defeats – be they private or professional – Roger’s is by far the worst,’ commented TV tennis personality Sue Barker. ‘At least Thierry single-(palm-of-the)-handedly brought his nation victory in the face of adversity, and Tiger, well at least Tiger enjoyed himself,’ Barker added.

Interestingly, Roger Federer is known for his Samaritan-like nature. His house in his homeland of Switzerland has often been seen as a rehab of sorts for many a troubled sports star. Thierry and Tiger are believed to be hiding away in his giant log cabin, which is hidden away in the forests outside of Basel. If the reports are true, then the French striker and the American stud will by now have joined fellow sporting hate-figures including Romanian footballer Adrian Mutu and South African sprinter Caster Semenya, in therapy at the resort.

You will remember how Mutu was caught putting bag after bag of Bolivian marching powder up his nose in a Chelsea restaurant and how Semenya was thrust into the limelight following accusations that she had ‘the best a human being can get -’ both lady and man reproductive organs.

So, what lesson is to be learned from the demise of this promotional fraternity of awesomeness? Cultsha put the question to Seb Coe, sporting great. His response: ‘Perhaps the conclusion to be drawn from all this is to never idolise a man with a chin smoother than Tom Daly’s bottom.’