During the month-long cold snap which has blighted every corner of the UK, freezing Britons in their millions have been turning to an alternative and cheaper fuel to help stoke sub-zero temperatures: DVD copies of Al Gore’s ‘An Inconvenient Truth’. Surplus, unsold Region-2 copies of the box-hit crash have become the kindling wood of choice for millions. Even seasoned climate change activists and ‘green’ sorts have been caught joining in on the act. ‘I’m well aware of the toxic impact of burning mass quantities of DVDs,’ commented one such campaigner. ‘But hey, I’ve resolved my internal conflict and am more than happy to think of myself as a fair-weathered climate change activist from here on out.’

With the majority of Britons lacking the foresight to save money at any point in their credit-driven lives, many have found themselves with pockets too shallow to pay their heating bills, purchase North Face gillets or even power a kettle for long enough to justify filling a hot-water bottle for the night. This has allowed cheaper alternative fuels, such as Gore’s DVD,to come into their own. Cheaper than traditional winter house-warming fuels, such as wood, coal, gasoline and Alistair Campbell’s latest diary, ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ can conveniently be found on the sale rack at any given high street store, priced somewhere in the region of 49p-99p. According to reports, each DVD will burn for upwards of 45 minutes (75 minutes if you include the bonus DVD of outtakes, at an additional cost of 20p), giving off much welcome heat, and slightly less welcome toxic fumes in the process.

Adopting the policy that organised fun is always the best fun, local councils up and down the land have been arranging mass bonfires burning box-upon-box of Gore’s masterpiece. Thankfully, such industrious spirit has not gone unrewarded. The public fires have helped elevate temperatures by a whole degree in most urban areas. ‘I’ve never been so happy to see a return to grey skies and beige temperatures; it’s a huge relief,’ commented one free-riding benefactor.

When informed that his lifetime’s work was being used as a fuel to heat up the earth’s atmosphere, the former next-President of the United States, remarked: ‘ I can’t deny that it hurts to see all the effort I’ve put in, going up in flames. But hell, if it’s keeping people warmer, then who am I to judge.’ Mr Gore continued: ‘Heck I’m starting to think I may be wrong anyway. I thought the planet was getting warmer, not colder. Who knew?!’

New Fox News ‘Political Analyst’ Sarah Palin, has been quick to gain political capital from the affair. Palin commented live on air last night that the situation could quite possibly only be more ironic if Mr Gore was actually caught melting a polar bear’s igloo with a portable fan heater, before pushing the bear into the water, where it would be forced to walk water for all eternity.